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Heartlessness in Monogamy

By Punkerslut

Image by Havok
Image: "Kalisti 83" by Havok

Start Date: Tuesday, February 26, 2002
Finish Date: Wednesday, February 27, 2002

     Within the Western Civilization, it has long been accepted that Monogamy is a moral imperative. It has been taught in schools, in universities, in books, and in families that we should only have one sexual partner. Rarely, if ever, does anyone consider a different sexual plan outside of Monogamy on philosophical grounds, and if they do, they are called vagrants, mentally inept individuals. Among the slurs called to those who are not monogamous are: impure, unkind, unfeeling, immoral, harmful, and heartless. It is almost unheard of that someone would choose a non-Monogamous lifestyle on the grounds that Monogamy is unfit and unworthy.

     I have met many great people that were Monogamous. I've met people who were articulate, kind, giving, and warm who all professed to be Monogamists. However, when I saw their monogamous side, I was utterly repelled. The ideas, the concepts, the values that they had inherently attached to their sexual morality were appalling. It were almost as if they were an entirely different person, some daemon hiding whom I had never seen or heard of before. For some Monogamists, if someone insulted their lover, they would become violent and angry -- almost to the point where they would assault someone for the mere words that they had spoken. They feel as though their lovers were slaves, bent on the will of a master. In their own hearts, they feel that it is right and just to try and control someone else's body. These vile and disgusting traits are commonly found in monogamous relationships of people you would call charitable and kind, compassionate and affectionate. It is an unspeakable tragedy when you have to see people you once respected and honored committing such disgraceful acts: accusing their lovers of going behind their backs, accusing friends of "eyeing" their lovers, easily angered, easily upset, all the while controlling their own emotions and the emotions of others in a totalitarian relationship to achieve their own ends, feeling that slavery of the body is perfectly acceptable.

     I consider Monogamous people the same way I consider religious people. There have been many great Christians that I have met. However, when you see their Christian side, their undoubted belief in ruinous scripture, their quickness in persecuting Homosexuals, their ease in accepting Child Abuse as "discipline" -- I see an entirely different person. Founded on the Bible, they will admit to numerous atrocities. They may even demand the deaths of infidels. When these topics are brought up, it is almost like I see an entirely different person. Just as a Monogamist is easily upset when you find defects in their ideology, such is the case with a Christian. The most deeply held convictions of the common people are some times the most destructive. The ignorance of Monogamy is seething. By this belief, Monogamy, men and women were made ignoramuses, succumbing to the vindictive creed that it is acceptable to control another, that it is permissible to behave in a negative fashion to their lover, their slave. A Monogamist would not question if their friend looked at someone of the opposite sex (as long as it was not the Monogamist's lover), and a Monogamist would not question if their friend had sexual fantasies about others, but if the lover of a Monogamists ever embraced such practices, they would feel it is acceptable to be a barbarian, a brute, fully capable of a sickly combination of violence and arrogance.

     When a Monogamist ensues to fight someone who looked at their lover the wrong way, or touched their lover the wrong way, what look can be seen in their eye? When I look there, I see the same look as in the eye of the Crusader, the religious zealot aspiring to shed blood for his cause. The cruelty invoke by both dogmas, religion and Monogamy, is insurmountable. How many men had to suffer the brutal behavior of a jealous husband? How many women had to be subjected to the inquisition-like harassment of jealous wives? If it is just one, then it is one too many -- cruelty never needs to be accepted. However, within the Monogamous belief-structure, it is accepted as customary. If a man does not investigate the male friends of his spouse close enough, some will call him inadequate or uncaring. There is almost a requirement in Monogamy of viciousness and unrelenting, insecure questioning. Everything that is a sign of affection for someone else is considered borderline adultery. The same thing can be seen within religion. Everything that is a sign of unorthodoxy is considered borderline heresy. Of religion and Monogamy, nothing can be said so just as their prime objective is to destroy reasoning faculties and control people. And I cannot stand for it, as I will never stand for something that has caused so much damage or something that endeavors to cause so much damage.

     There will be some claims among Monogamists and its advocates that Free Lovers are incapable of having value for sex. That is to say, we are deficient in some way, that we have a vice. When it comes to Western Civilization, there is much value on sex, but seemingly more value on control of it. They say that limitations and restrictions are the jewel in the crown of a relationship. Free Lovers do not value sex in the same way a Monogamist does. Something so great and so powerful, Free Lovers will not try to harness it, to control it, to limit it. Monogamy makes the attempt to hold it under unfair constraints, to contain the pleasure. It is true that Free Love is not at all about limiting sex. Monogamists will claim that Free Lovers fail to value sex properly -- how is hording affection a method of valuing physical intimacy? We may not find it kind and compassionate to put restrictions on sex. The value of life is held in an unleveled height compared to that of sexual chastity. Humanitarians and Rationalists will not spend their time dwelling in the various tortures of Monogamy. Ambition is directed towards humane causes -- not sexual restrictions. To the Humanitarian, Monogamy presents itself as nothing more than a selected slavery.

     As I have said before, I have met many great friends who are Monogamists. When I see their habits as a Monogamist, I am utterly appalled. How easily angered they are, how easily upset they are, how vindictive they are, how ruthless they can be, how many of their actions are directed specifically to the weak, private spots of their lover for the sake of control. These are people I thought I once knew -- they are people I once revered as some of the greatest people, yet their Monogamous lifestyles are so reflective of something else. It is for these reasons, unleveled brutality and cruelty, that I cannot be monogamous. To the lovers that I shall have, I can only promise that I will not dwell in suspicion or anger permanently, always looking for a reason to cause conflict -- I will never hold in contempt any touch of affection, any act of kindness, any pleasure -- And I will never betray you, by making life more miserable, by making you dependent upon me, or by causing suffering.


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